It's been a weird few months, and between colleges, applications, boards, and travelling, I've barely had time to come here. Yet, this blog is my bastion, after all!
I wrote this post for my friends in fauji brats, but I think it is just as relevant here as it was there. It is a problem that our country is grappling with, and losing. Even the world needs some help, and well, for whatever its worth, here is my take -
We hate the so called “rapists”. Where did this new species come from? They fell out of hell, didn’t they? By defining rape, we’ve made it avoidable. By saying that a particular action is rape, we imply that the rest is not. Rape is a big word; one would never associate it with himself. I say rape; you don’t even bother to associate it with yourself, do you? It is like the moon, very much real and around, but you never really bother with it. Rape is not the problem; it is the apex of what actually is the problem. It is in the transference of power. A man believes he can get away with a touch, next time he tries a pat, and so on, and before you know it, a guy with a little daring has succumbed to being a rapist. That is how, I think, a rapist is born. I don’t think that anybody just sits up and says, “I’ll be a rapist”, heck, I don’t think rapists even think of themselves as rapists, and that brings me to my next point –
We are inherently defensive. As soon as someone points a finger, accuses us, we become defensive. Dad says, “You ate the ice-cream, didn’t you?” and we go, “I didn’t know you were saving it dad”, “I was hungry, and couldn’t find anything” etc etc. But instead, if our dad had said, “son, you know, even I wanted some of the ice-cream”, we apologize and regret. It’s not our fault to be inherently aggressive, but it is our fault if we don’t realize this, accept it and try to compromise for it, the way the theoretical dad did.
By defining rape, we gave people freedom to do things that would not come under the definition and yet are heinous. I’ll define murder as “voluntary killing of another member of the species homo sapiens”, just here, you have so many loopholes. Find an involuntary way, don’t kill, but fatally injure, prove in court that the deceased is not a human. By making it a social issue, it has stopped being personal, it has become social; nobody associates it with themselves, but instead with the society at large. Must we alienate ourselves so? Can’t we bring ourselves into this mess, no matter how ugly it is? To sweep a house, you must get your hands dirty, for only then will you wash them.
This is my plea to all fauji brats. Let’s stop harping about rape, instead, lets address the root of the problem – the insanity, the beginning. No sir, if you touch a girl and get away with it, it is not fine, it is not daring and we’re most certainly not proud of you. If you can degrade a woman and call her a whore, it DOES NOT make you cool. Trust me; it is a very interesting game for some among us to do it, calling names and labeling girls sluts. It only makes you a person I would love to rip in half, and the only reason I haven’t done it yet is that I am too civilized to join your ranks, and humane enough to try to reform you. It is a hard job, to resist the anger, harder still, to try to improve those demons. Yet, we must direct that anger otherwise. Everyone was born innocent, was born human. Every action has a reason behind it. For us, the better people, the difficulty lies in understand the reason, and hence influencing the action.
Some may wonder why I post this here. It is for but one reason – I believe that as a community, we’re the most experienced and understanding in our age group, everywhere. So, while that gives us the privilege of judgment, it also grants us the responsibility of guidance. Let’s begin this. Let’s start being human, and people, whether they like it or not, will follow. It is not a solution, I know, but it might be the first step?
I wrote this post for my friends in fauji brats, but I think it is just as relevant here as it was there. It is a problem that our country is grappling with, and losing. Even the world needs some help, and well, for whatever its worth, here is my take -
We hate the so called “rapists”. Where did this new species come from? They fell out of hell, didn’t they? By defining rape, we’ve made it avoidable. By saying that a particular action is rape, we imply that the rest is not. Rape is a big word; one would never associate it with himself. I say rape; you don’t even bother to associate it with yourself, do you? It is like the moon, very much real and around, but you never really bother with it. Rape is not the problem; it is the apex of what actually is the problem. It is in the transference of power. A man believes he can get away with a touch, next time he tries a pat, and so on, and before you know it, a guy with a little daring has succumbed to being a rapist. That is how, I think, a rapist is born. I don’t think that anybody just sits up and says, “I’ll be a rapist”, heck, I don’t think rapists even think of themselves as rapists, and that brings me to my next point –
We are inherently defensive. As soon as someone points a finger, accuses us, we become defensive. Dad says, “You ate the ice-cream, didn’t you?” and we go, “I didn’t know you were saving it dad”, “I was hungry, and couldn’t find anything” etc etc. But instead, if our dad had said, “son, you know, even I wanted some of the ice-cream”, we apologize and regret. It’s not our fault to be inherently aggressive, but it is our fault if we don’t realize this, accept it and try to compromise for it, the way the theoretical dad did.
By defining rape, we gave people freedom to do things that would not come under the definition and yet are heinous. I’ll define murder as “voluntary killing of another member of the species homo sapiens”, just here, you have so many loopholes. Find an involuntary way, don’t kill, but fatally injure, prove in court that the deceased is not a human. By making it a social issue, it has stopped being personal, it has become social; nobody associates it with themselves, but instead with the society at large. Must we alienate ourselves so? Can’t we bring ourselves into this mess, no matter how ugly it is? To sweep a house, you must get your hands dirty, for only then will you wash them.
This is my plea to all fauji brats. Let’s stop harping about rape, instead, lets address the root of the problem – the insanity, the beginning. No sir, if you touch a girl and get away with it, it is not fine, it is not daring and we’re most certainly not proud of you. If you can degrade a woman and call her a whore, it DOES NOT make you cool. Trust me; it is a very interesting game for some among us to do it, calling names and labeling girls sluts. It only makes you a person I would love to rip in half, and the only reason I haven’t done it yet is that I am too civilized to join your ranks, and humane enough to try to reform you. It is a hard job, to resist the anger, harder still, to try to improve those demons. Yet, we must direct that anger otherwise. Everyone was born innocent, was born human. Every action has a reason behind it. For us, the better people, the difficulty lies in understand the reason, and hence influencing the action.
Some may wonder why I post this here. It is for but one reason – I believe that as a community, we’re the most experienced and understanding in our age group, everywhere. So, while that gives us the privilege of judgment, it also grants us the responsibility of guidance. Let’s begin this. Let’s start being human, and people, whether they like it or not, will follow. It is not a solution, I know, but it might be the first step?
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